Relationship researchers have found that one strong predictor of divorce is the presence and expression of contempt in a relationship. In other words, in marriages where one or both partners treat each other routinely with contempt, that relationship is more likely to end in divorce. Contempt can be expressed non-verbally, through words or through tone of voice. Sometimes, people are not aware that they are communicating contempt to their partner. Becoming aware of this communication pattern, can lead the way towards changing it.

Legally, divorce is an option for married couples and often divorce is sought as a remedy for irreconcilable differences. However, many types of conflict can be resolved. In fact, there are many creative strategies available for solving and managing relationship problems. Divorce can be avoided in many situations if one or both partners are willing to approach the problem in a new way.

Differences of opinion and divergent personality styles can lead to conflict in a relationship. Conflict is to be expected in a relationship. However, the success of a relationship often hinges on how that conflict is managed. Managing conflict well takes skill, self-knowledge and self-mastery. These are skills that many people learned in childhood or possibly later in life.The good news is that conflict management skills can be learned and enhanced as needed.

A good marriage counselor will avoid taking sides in the therapy. She or he will, instead, make the success of the relationship the priority.

What does it mean to commit yourself to a relationship? I think that it means, that when making decisions, you put the health  of the relationship first. Does it mean that partners have to agree? No, but they can often negotiate to find a satisfactory outcome.

Do you remember the first time you rode a bike? The feeling of freedom? And accomplishment? Successful couples therapy can feel just like that. Completing a goal, such as improving your relationship, or enhancing a set of skills, can feel great. Why not accomplish something that will have lasting value?

Most people care very deeply about their relationships. However, it can be discouraging to face the same problems over and over. Sometimes, the solution is a simple one, but it may be difficult to see if you are too close to the problem. That's why it is often helpful to consult with a neutral third party who is skilled at identifying and helping you overcome your obstacles.